dark blue

thursday afternoon saw a girl walking back alone after a long day. well, it was considered a pretty normal school day, but it sure felt long. she walked past the buses and city CATs, trying to hold her breath for as long as possible to escape the carbon monoxid-ity of the busport. up the stairs she went, past the station stores and came to the junction.

choices.

go straight and walk under the shade away from the rain?
turn right, take the shortcut and risk getting a cold?

decisions.

she turned right, bracing herself for the blast of coldness that she knew would hit her as soon as she opened the doors. it was wet, and windy. her toes were numb from the cold. for a moment a crazy thought striked her : maybe her toes were gangrenous. oh, it made her smile alright, but it didn't even last a split second..or maybe she only thought she smiled. she didn't know. on she walked. different shades of grey painted the sky. if not for the occasional streak of green that coloured the Transperth logo it was as if she was walking through a scene in a black and white tv set. she walked down the stairs, taking her time, knowing that the train wouldn't arrive, not for another 4 minutes.

feelings.

she wasn't sad or depressed, but she wasn't little miss giggles either. not today. sure, she was assured in every possible way, salvation, love and blessings from a God so big, family and friends who loved her and who she loved back, higher-than-average results..what's there not to be happy about? heck, even her social life was progressing a small step forward. a dinner at the winery to start the weekend off with her friends.

so why the long face?

conscience.

it was bugging her. so much going on, too little time. as much as she would like to ignore that little voice in her head, she knew she couldn't keep it up. it's one of those rare occasions where she wished she could be the sort of person who didn't care, but still be happy. a person with not a worry in the world, leaving tomorrow's troubles to tomorrow. simplicity. for once, she wanted to be a person without cares, without responsibilities.

but it was time to iron out her priorities - to straighten up the folds.

before it's too late.

her ears picked up the whirring sound of the train as it approached the station, finally coming to a stop a few steps away from where she was standing. the doors opened. she found herself a seat and plopped herself down, facing the window.

don't ask why.

maybe it's because she was tired. or because it was a bad day.
or maybe it was just a struggle within herself.

the train started to move, slowly gaining momentum. past the cold concrete walls, into the open where there were trees and birds and sky, all a darker, duller shade of colour. she closed her eyes as the world passed her by. what's the point? she thought.

hope.

but then she realized that maybe it is the struggles that make it so worth it at the end. whatever it is.

she smiled. this time, it was real.